I’m inspired by Jason Calacanis. I’ve met him twice, and he has no idea who i am. But i can’t wait to thank him, and here’s the why and the how of it all:
The anti-surplus: The simulation of our social groups online is a veiled, contrived representation of who we are, and has dangerous potential power over emotional growth, emotional intelligence, and empathy.
With all the thought i’ve put into the internet over the last few weeks, i’ve done the exact opposite of my own self expectations: i felt the internet. The anti-internet became evident. I’ve watched people for whom i once had respect become more socially regressed than their own children (or the children they are old enough to have). the appearance is fun, but the reality is disturbing. Forward motion and progress is impeded by every regression.
I noticed something else: there are those who use the tools in ways to promote themselves for no other reason than to be adored [another form of social regression.] This is the section of users who unconsciously ask themselves What Would Narcissus Do? And then blatantly follow suit. The anti-surplus.
Developmentally, it’s factual: adolescents lack a specific adult-acquired level of empathy because they are mostly wrapped up in their own image, and will justify social misgivings based solely on how they manicure their appearances. The sun sets on them. The moon rises for them. They deny it, but deny it while brushing their hair.
I’m 35 years old. And just as it was then, it is now: something about it feels wrong and possibly dangerous.
On February 3, 2009 I broke up with the internet, in my own ridiculous way: I created my own social experiment. and since paying research subjects to contribute or participate is both impossible (oh hai Great Depression 2.0) and potentially unethical (see DHARMA Initiative), i have only one person whose experience i can share with the internet: me.
Social experiments are risky, the potential to get flamed is high. But that’s all part of the game.
The simulation of social groups online and the functionality of each feature builds a veiled, contrived sense of self in which empathy is an action item. Click this box to feel nothing. Click this box to make another person cry. Poke this person to make them laugh.
Many times it is fun, but just as Jason pointed out: what about that myspace suicide case? The justin.tv suicide, or the slew of other people (you’ve seen them, or you have friends) who have experienced pain in real life because of a news feed, social action item or broken algorithm? i have no answers for myself and Alice hasn’t finished her dissertation yet, so it’s me and my blog, a pinch of digital fearlessness and my quick typing fingers.
For as long as i can stand it, NotShocking.com will temporarily monitor my human experience of an attempt to (at least temporarily) abandon “personal brand” and engage in self care, while still functioning at full potential with regard to my jobs within the music industry. I have no idea what to expect of myself. I already hate having a private twitter feed, because i can’t participate in fun twitter groups, a few of which i’ve helped create and are music-oriented. #gah!
I am instead forcing myself to blog this experience with brutal honesty.
For as long as i can really do this…. I will explore why i use the interwebs the way i do, and what it feels like to be with or without it. At the same time it will be key to maintain why i find these tools useful or destructive for the self, the core human being within – and i will also focus on why each specific tool is useful or destructive for the music & entertainment industry. After all, i love what i do for a living. How intertwined is my living with my digital self? I hope to figure it out. right here. on this very blog.
I will still use lala, goodreads, imeem, last.fm…..I will monitor closely how any of this affects my ability to fuel my passions with regard to assisting labels and bands with building a functional digital presence.
While my goal is to remain unbiased about myself, i can’t live a paradox -everything about these blog posts is biased. so I’ll honestly share my expectation: to discover a vast usefulness for entertainment and to reveal the social networking potential to create simultaneous infliction of pain alongside fun and playful behavior. I think i will discover the general internet, social platforms, are succesful for those who crave [or need] fame, fun for reconnecting with old friends, fun for organizing groups and uniting on issues of shared interest. However, enjoying social networks for shared interests is potentially nullified by the narcissistic users who are addicted to themselves. addicted to their image, at the expense of empathy and human closeness. These are the people who substitute a human interaction with digital. Connections are algorithms. The magic of the soul and human connection is lost.
How I Broke Up With The Internet & How It’s Going So Far
- Twitter: privatized feed, took away any risk of my twitter home page functioning as a representation of who i am. changed “name” to my initials to avoid people-search. Nothing about privatizing my feed has, thus far, inspired me to tweet information any more personal than before.
- Facebook: hunkered down on a few privacy settings, removed info from facebook search results, put up a note requesting contact via email “facebook for events only”
- blog: increasing blog posts. reclaiming an intimate relationship with my blog
- goodreads & LaLa: I will continue to use these sites, because they are completely functional for me at this time. The act of paying for streams at LaLa pleases me, as does the integrity of their streams & mp3s for sale. GoodReads is my new love online as it helps me maintain and create reading lists, and talk about books with friends. These two sites, at least for now, are tools which fall into my “self care” category.
- flickr: for now i have not changed any settings in flickr. Photography is a new amateurish hobby for me, and i have had a flickr account for 4 years. I can’t give this up but will revisit the idea of privatizing some photos.
Withdrawal Symptoms February 8, 2008
- sent a tweet, thought about changing my icon (which is now blank/ default) to my dog fletch’s face. The reason i wanted to change to photo is because i saw my own tweet pop up on tweetdeck amongst other tweets from friends and felt left out, since i don’t have an icon (and they do). resisted temptation to add a photo, gave myself permission to revisit this idea tomorrow and wrote blogpost instead.
and um, that’s it. for today. it’s only been 5.5 days.